Restless
by IlmatarT
Summary: After having spent a fortnight as a woman, Edwin is finally changed back to his own masculine form. His relationship with Jaina takes a step forward, resultin in both of them spending a sleepless night alone in their own beds, thinking of each other.


Disclaimer: Bioware owns, not me. Also hurrah for Laufey for shaping Edwin into what he is in my head.

Author's note: Not beta-read, sorry about that. If you're going "wtf!" while reading this, check out Laufey's Edwin Romance Mod.

Jaina lay in bed awake. The lights were out but the faint shimmer of the street lamp sneaked in through the curtains. It sounded like someone was fighting, or at least drunkenly arguing somewhere in the distance, which was unsurprising considering that it was the Slums, and the Copper Coronet. Jaina and her friends had all rented rooms - Hendak had gotten into the habit of keeping them their own rooms, since they were his best customers and had helped him to gain control of the tavern in the first place. Viconia and Jan were in the neighboring rooms, while Minsc, Yoshimo and Edwin had the rooms on the opposite side of the corridor.

Edwin...

Jaina sighed of frustration and changed position, again. She must have been tossing and turning in bed for an hour already. Sleep was no where to be felt while the only thing she could think about was Edwin. On the very same day his adversary Red Wizard had, in the intention of revealing his true identity and then punishing him, turned him back to his own masculine self, after having been transformed to a woman for over two weeks. Even though they had been in a hurry to defend themselves and Edwin against the powerful wizard, they had all laughed out loud for how Edwin had looked. He had certainly regained his height, shoulders and chest hair, even his hair was back to how it had been before the magical transformation, and was in all intents and purposes back to normal, except for the way he was dressed. The feminine robes had stretced and ripped, the revealing neckline showed his chest hair instead of a full round bosom, and the makeup he had been wearing as a woman was still on his face - lipstick and eyeliner and everything.

They had defeated the Red Wizard who had been hunting for Edwin, and when the dust had settled, Edwin had already been rejoicing in being himself once again. After realizing why everyone else had been rolling on the ground holding their stomachs and laughing, he had been in a hurry to wash his face, do his hair, and change into his own mage's robes. They had set up temporary camp by a small stream, and the others had a welcome break in travelling towards Athkatla while their wizard was grooming himself in a secluled spot by the stream. When he had been gone long enough in Jaina's opinion, she left the other four and made her way to Edwin.

She had needed to stop and stare when she had Edwin in her view. She had already gotten used to Edwina and had almost forgot how utterly dashing Edwin really looked. His dark short hair always neatly done, the golden diadem on his forehead, his dark, mysterious eyes under low, expressive eyebrows, the trimmed dark beard and the chiseled yet somehow noble features of his face. She had caught him into her view wearing only black traveling trousers and dark brown ankle-lenght boots, but it looked like he had already washed and was getting dressed. Jaina had stayed where she was, happy that he had not spotted her yet, and admired the view. He was no warrior, but the life on the road and the constant battles had shaped him into a relatively broad-shouldered man whose legs and buttocks had been shaped by all the walking and riding. For a long time she had kept on staring at the dark chest hair, and she bit her lip noticing how a narrow line of dark hair lead down from his navel, and disappeared under his belt. The sight of him had made her heart beat faster and her cheeks fluster even though she certainly was no virtuous and innocent maiden.

The delicious, olive-hued bare skin had been covered soon, however, when Edwin had pulled on a black shirt that he buttoned up, and then had started putting on the layered and long, extravagant red and gold robes. Jaina had decided that this was a good time to approach, as if she was just walking in straight from their little encampment.

They had been through a lot together while Edwin had been in female form - Jaina had readily helped him, or rather her, with all the problems of womanhood, and somehow it felt that the bond between them had only strenghtened. They had been through fierce arguments which had ended up in Edwina finally admitting that they were indeed true friends, and even that he was thankful for Jaina's friendship and help. It had been a big step, Jaina realized, but its impact had not been so great when she had been discussing with Edwina. Now that he was there, in front of her, triumphing in manliness and positively beaming, Jaina realized how much she had missed the real Edwin, and at the same time how much closer they had become.

He had boasted about his masculinity, but admitted that he had to check that everything was indeed *there* and operational as before. One thing had lead to another in the discussion, and suddenly Jaina found that she was being a part of one of those tests - this time Edwin had wanted to scientifically determine whether or not he still had his charms. Jaina had found herself being held by him, his hands on her waist pulling her against himself, while he had been kissing her with such passion and intensity that she couldn't even feel her legs anymore.

It was settled, without a doubt, that Edwin was back to himself, after repeating this test several times.

They had reached Athkatla in the evening, and had supper in the Copper Coronet. Jaina couldn't believe how her stomach was full of butterflies for just being near Edwin now, and she felt like melting every time he looked at her.

His last look at her before they had retired into their own rooms had been too long and lingering to be casual, and so dark and smouldering it had almost made Jaina whimper. Having finally ripped her eyes from him, she had closed her door and in the privacy of her own room, she had leaned against the door to take a deep breath. She had looked at the ceiling and fanned herself, trying to calm her pounding heart.

What had happened? Almost two years ago she had met a man so arrogant and self-important she had hated him as much as he amused her in his ridiculousness. And now all of that had turned upside down. Over time that man had turned out to have the quickest and most wicked wit she had ever known, not to mention being an extremely capable wizard and a man of equal taste for luxury and style as she had.

And now, laying in bed alone, Jaina couldn't get over how his beard had felt against her chin, how he had sucked on her tongue so perfectly passionately, and how he had been throwing seductive looks at her all day. Or maybe she had imagined the last bit, but nonetheless, those dark eyes and that accented voice that began somewhere low and deep in his chest when he spoke, had her completely enchanted. Every time she closed her eyes, she could only feel his lips on hers, his arms around her, and hear his hoarse breathing. Those sensations quickly lead to imagining what it would be like to brush her hands over his chest feeling the hair, and of all the ways of how a mage's trained, long fingers could be put to most pleasing use.

x-x

Edwin opened the door of his room to an empty corridor. He had been pacing up and down alone in his room for some time now, feeling restless and desperate. Now he stood there staring at the door opposito to his - Jaina's room. He saw no light coming from under her door and could hear no noise, so he suspected she was already sound at sleep.

He sighed and closed his door.

What was he going to do? What could he do? He couldn't just go and tell her how much she meant to him, and how he was going mad over how desperate he was to touch her, feel her, kiss her, hold her, and make her feel pleasured, satisfied, happy and content in every way he possibly could. Of course he couldn't. What if - and it was very likely - she didn't want any of that from him? She would laugh at him, ridicule him, and he would be disgraced in her eyes forever. Edwin only wondered how long he could stand holding his desire to himself. He had already once left her, in Baldur's Gate, when he had realized he had come to care for the woman too much for either of their good. Now Edwin had come to feel that he couldn't handle leaving her again. He had, he realized, absolutely no one else on Faerun, and he did not even want anyone else.

Trying to calm himself down, he sat down on the side of his bed and rubbed his face with his hands. He took off the diadem going around his head, and then, one by one, detached the golden bracelets from both of his wrists. His hands were working on their own since his mind was yet again taken up by how she had felt. The narrow waist in his hands, the large breasts pressing against his chest, and her soft lips on his, her tongue reaching into his mouth to wrap around his.

He had kissed women before. He had bedded several. But nothing had ever felt so intense as she had - her scent, her long hair, the sound of how she sighed and let out an involuntary little moan as their lips parter with a wet smack...

Sleep, or even studying his spell book, was going to be hopeless tonight. All he yearned for was to feel the warmth of her body against his, and have her feel at least half as strongly as he felt for her. But who was he kidding? She was beautiful, intelligent, confident and sultry. She had divine blood in her veins, and unimaginable power at her reach, if she but chose to take it. Why would a woman so superior to anyone else have him as anything more but a tool or a toy? He did not understand love, or even approve of it. It was illogical and clouded the mind - indeed, Edwin felt like he was under a powerful Charm enchantment constantly. Jaina made him feel dizzy, sick and dazzled, but for some inexplicable reason he would never have it any other way. If someone was worthy of unrequited admiration, it was her.


End file.
